Merlin in the Middle Rewrite
by Lupin-73276
Summary: Merlin has noticed Uther watching him, how could he not. Between his strong feelings for Arthur and his undeniable desire for Uther, Merlin is so screwed. STORY REWRITE. You do not need to have read the original. Not a complete rewrite, just altered. Merlin/Arthur, Slight Merlin/Uther
1. Chapter 1

_A.N; Hello readers! This is a rewrite of my story Merlin in the Middle. I was not completely satisfied with the original for several reasons, and when the ideas came to me about how to rewrite it; it just happened. It is not drastically different, just altered. I hope you like it._

Chapter 1

Green-hazel eyes watch Merlin as he refills Arthur's goblet at dinner. This particular pair of eyes belongs to no other than King Uther himself. Uther watches, captivated, as Merlin's slender fingers hold the metal jug, noticing how the boy's sleeves slide up a little to reveal equally slender and pale wrists. Uther observes Merlin, his eye catching the slight twitch of his pink lips smiling at something Arthur whispers to him, probably about how bored he is. Uther's eyes follow Merlin as the servant stands back against the wall. The King turns his attention back to Morgana, who is still talking and has failed notice that he hasn't been listening to a word she is saying, even now Uther is concentrating on ignoring the itch to look at Merlin again.

* * *

Later in his chambers the King is pacing, thinking of a certain black haired, blue eyed servant, again. The King always feels the desire to reach out and touch the boy, to run his roughened fingertips across that pale skin, Uther shivers at the thought. He always watches Merlin when he thinks that no one else was looking, and could hardly survive a day without seeing the neckerchief wearing servant. The things he could do to the neck under that scarf, Uther shakes his head, trying to get it out of the gutter.

He is glad that Merlin is friends with and shows great loyalty to his son. Uther has often wondered if their relationship went further than friendship, a growl emits the Kings chest as images of Merlin in the arms of another man bombard his head. Even though he has this over whelming desire for the boy he must restrain himself. Merlin is Gauis' apprentice and the slightly older man sees the boy as a son. There's also Arthur, he couldn't imagine how the blonde Prince would react if his father took his servant as his lover. He sighs deeply and collapses in his chair.

* * *

Merlin and Arthur walk in silence after dinner, Merlin wonders if he has done something wrong, but nothing comes to mind. Minutes later they reach Arthur's chambers. Once inside Merlin walks over to the wardrobe and pulls out Arthur's night clothes, just as he lays them on the bed Arthur speaks.

"Merlin?" He begins.

"Yes Arthur."

"Did you notice my Father staring at you during dinner?" Jealousy is seeping though the Princes words, the young man showing his ever present possessive and jealous streak.

"No. Besides why would the King want to look at me? You're being paranoid." Merlin answers with a little scoff.

Arthur gives Merlin a look as if to say 'don't think so little of yourself' but nods and drops the subject. Arthur rises from the chair he had been sitting in, walks over to Merlin, places his hands on Merlin's hips and rests his forehead against Merlin's.

After a few moments of staring at each other intently Arthur cups Merlin's neck and kisses him. Merlin wraps his arms around Arthur neck as he becomes engulfed in the passionate kiss. Minutes later they part, both panting for air, but they are both smiling.

"Goodnight Arthur." Merlin says as he untangles himself from Arthur's arms.

"Goodnight Merlin." Arthur replies as he watches Merlin walk out the door.

Once around the corner Merlin stops and slumps against the wall. He had noticed Uther watching him, how could he not, even now he could feel the Kings gaze burning into his flesh, he shudders. Despite his strong feelings for Arthur, Merlin could not ignore the way his mouth runs dry in the King's presence or the way his stomach erupts in butterflies when he feels Uther watching him. Between his strong feelings for Arthur and his growing curious desire for Uther, he is so screwed.

* * *

Merlin slowly walks back towards Gauis' chambers, just wanting to tuck himself into his bed and try to get as much sleep as possible. As he enters he notices that Gauis is still busily working, pouring a potion into a vial and shaking it. Gaius turns after hearing Merlin close the wooden door, and smiles.

"Merlin." Gaius greets. Merlin smiles back at the man who is like a father to him. He keeps walking and heads towards his bedroom, wanting to fall straight to sleep.

"Merlin." Gaius calls Merlin back before the boy can reach his door. Merlin sighs and turns around to look at the silver haired man.

"I need you to take this to the King. For his shoulder." Gaius states, places the vial on the corner of the wooden table. He then collects some vials and herbs from the table, and puts them into his bag.

"Why me?" Merlin asks, nervous about seeing the King after knowing the older man had been watching him so intensely only a short while ago.

"Because, Merlin, I have to go into the town. One of the people has become ill, so I have to go give him treatment." Gaius explains, as if Merlin was five years old.

"Fine, okay. I'm going." Merlin huffs before picking up the small bottle walking back out of the physicians chambers.

Merlin slowly makes his way through the castle corridors, trying to put off seeing Uther for as long as possible. But all too soon, the King's chamber door comes into view. There is no guard at the door, which slightly surprises him, but if an intruder entered the King's room Merlin knows that he is more than capable of defending himself.

Timidly he knocks on the wood door, clutching the vial to his chest. "Come in." The King's commanding voice echoes into the corridor. Merlin tries to suppress a shudder.

Hesitantly Merlin opens the door and enters, closing the door quietly behind him.

The King has moved from the chair to sit on the end of his bed, staring out the window, so he hasn't seen that it is Merlin who has entered his chambers.

"Sire. I have the medicine for your shoulder, from Gaius." Merlin says nervously.

Uther turns to face the door as soon as he hears the boy's voice. His heart pounds in his chest, only barely registering what the dark haired servant is saying.

Uther stands. "Ah, yes. Thank you." he holds his hand out, to take the bottle.

Merlin steps forward and places the vial in the King's hand. Their fingers brush. Jolts of electricity course through their veins. The King quickly swallows the liquid, Merlin watches the King's throat muscles contract as he consumes the fluid. Then Uther passes the empty bottle back to the boy. Pleasurable tingles shoot through his hand as his flesh once again comes in contact with the boy's pale skin.

Before Uther can control himself he grabs the boy's left wrist with his right hand, and backs him up against the wall. He presses his body into Merlin's. The dark haired servant has dropped the vial as he had been backed up; it rolls across the floor, completely forgotten by the two men. Uther places his left hand on Merlin's face, savouring the feeling of the soft, pale skin beneath his calloused finger tips. They are so close that their noses are almost touching, their laboured breaths mingle together.

Merlin is aroused by Uther suddenly taking control of him and a faint blush colours his high cheek bones. Uther stares into the striking blue eyes, before he fixates on the boy's pink lips. All self control flies out of the window as he swoops down and claims Merlin's lips.

When the boy fails to respond he is about to pull away but, as his lips loose contact with Merlin's, the boy grabs the back of his neck and pulls him into another kiss. Uther is completely lost now. He releases the pale wrist, and grips Merlin's hip. Merlin wraps his now free arm around the King's shoulders, pulling him impossibly closer. Their chests and hips melt together.

Merlin can feel the King's erection pressing into his hip; he bucks into the older man. His fingers curl into coarse hair at the nape of the other man's neck.

The servant's eyes snap open; his fingers subconsciously grip Uther's hair tight in his fingers. The rough grey flecked hair prickles the skin of his hand, the texture is all wrong. He is accustomed to soft fine hair that is the colour of sunlight.

Merlin retracts his hands so quickly it seemed though the other's skin had burned him, he uses those same hands to push against the chest in front of him. Urgently trying to shove the unfamiliar body away from his own, his mind screaming '_no, wrong, no, no'._

Uther stares at the young man before him, shaking hands pressing against his chest keeping him at arm's length and the word no falling continuously from the boy's mouth. He wraps his hands around the lad's forearms.

"Calm down Merlin." He commands, and the boy stills almost instantly. "Tell me what the matter is."

"I cant... No, I won't. I won't betray Arthur anymore than I already have." Merlin states as he stares at the floor.

In that moment Uther knows that his son has claimed the raven haired youth, he pushes aside the small ugly swell of jealousy that bubbles. "I am not going to force you Merlin."

The King cannot help the sting when Merlin sighs in relief. "Go Merlin. Return to your chambers, we will not speak of tonight."

Merlin swiftly thanks the King before snatching the vial from where it had fallen and fleeing the room. Uther slumps into his chair, his erection had flagged and all his felt was the creeping tendrils of guilt start to wind in his gut.

* * *

Merlin is thankful that Gaius is already sleeping when he returns; if he were awake no doubt the physician would question Merlin's rumbled appearance and his pale face.

He leans against the closed door of his room for a moment to collect his breath before flinging himself face down on his hard bed, clutching his pillow to his chest. Guilt and self disgust are already making a home in his chest, weighing him down. He imagines Arthur's beautiful smiling face it quickly morphs into a look of loathing.

Tears swell in the servants blue eyes. "What have I done?" He touches his lips carefully and the ghost feeling of coarse hair prickles along the skin of his fingers.

Elsewhere in the castle Arthur is sleeping soundly in his own bed, alone. Blissfully unaware of what has just transpired between his father and his lover.

* * *

_A.N; Please review and let me know what you think._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The sound of birds joyously singing at the rising sun makes Merlin's stomach churn in dread. He had barely slept, his eyes red rimmed and his body tense. He pulls himself up and slumps into a sitting position, staring at his boots. He gentle rubs at his sore eyes with his neckerchief, the deep red wakes his brain as he realises he is still in yesterdays clothes.

Merlin frantically removes the clothes while pulling clean ones out of his closet; he could feel the first light of the morning sun warming his neck. He pulls on a new red shirt, clean breeches, and a blue neckerchief then pushes his feet into his boots.

He can hear Gaius shuffling about in the next room. He takes in a deep breath, and releases it. The King had promised not to say a word about last night and he is hoping that, that is the end of it. He gathers himself before opening the creaky wooden door into the physicians chambers.

"Morning my boy." Gaius greets the young man with a smile on his face. "Here." He passes Merlin a bowl of thick porridge, he takes it will a small smile but is unable to look him in the eye.

The raven haired man drops onto the bench and starts pushing the food around the bowl but reluctantly begins to eat it, wanting to ease the worried gaze of his mentor. Gaius eyes Merlin concerned by the boy's demeanour, he is usually chipper even in the morning but the boy looks gloomy. Before he can examine the boy further he is thanked for the food and he disappears out the door. Gaius shakes his head noticing the barely touched breakfast and hopes that whatever is bothering the young warlock will resolve itself.

* * *

Merlin stands in the kitchens; Arthur's breakfast tray lay on the table before him, warm vapours rising off the sausages and egg. He picks up the tray with slightly shaking hands and walks out of the bustling room. As he walks through the corridors of the castle he keeps telling himself '_I can do this. I can do this._'

He is soon faced with Arthur's door; he feels the same twist of nervousness in his stomach that had plagued him the night before when he was stood in front of the King's chambers. A fresh wave of guilt surges within him.

"Are you going in?" One of the guards pulls Merlin out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, yes. Or course." He answers quickly and balances the tray while he knocks on the door. He opens the door when he hears the echoing voice of the Prince telling him to enter.

He keeps his eyes on the floor as he places Arthur's breakfast tray on the table. He then proceeds to open all the curtains to let in the yellow morning light. He can hear Arthur pulling out his chair and sitting down to his breakfast while Merlin makes his bed.

"Merlin?" the servant jolts at the sudden sound of the blonde's voice. "Are you alright?"

Merlin swallows a lump in his throat before choking out a quick reply "Yes, fine." before resuming his task.

"Merlin." Arthur's voice is closer this time, Merlin jumps and turns to see him a few feet away looking at the servant curiously. Merlin dodges the Prince and gathers all the laundry then heads towards the door. "Merlin, look at me." Arthur demands, grabbing Merlin's arm. The clothes basket falls from Merlin's grasp to the floor and he stares at the Prince with panicked eyes, silence stretches between the two men.

Just as Arthur opens his mouth to speak a knock at the door interrupts, he looks at the door and back to Merlin before sighing. "Enter."

A young female servant pops her head through the door. "Sorry Sire, but the King requires Merlin's presence."

Merlin's whole body stiffens at the girl's words, Arthur looks at the other man confused.

"He was very adamant about it Sire." The girl speaks again.

Merlin shakes off Arthur's grip, picks up the laundry basket from the floor and flees the room; leaving a very puzzled Arthur in his wake.

* * *

Merlin stands nervously in the middle of the room, the King is sat in his chair beside the window, watching the younger man. Neither man speak for minutes, both unsure of how to start the conversation.

"Are you in a relationship with my son?" Merlin's eyes widen and his licks his lips, hesitant to speak. "You are allowed to speak freely Merlin."

"Yes Sire."

"Are you in love with him?"

"Yes Sire."

"Is he in love with you?"

Merlin is surprised by the question, but answers "I believe so Sire."

Uther nods but sighs; this is a big mess and needs to be sorted.

"Are you in love with me Merlin?" The King asks.

"NO, no Sire ..." Merlin clamps his mouth shuts as his has just vehemently admitted not loving the man he had kissed the night before and his King.

Uther lets out a deep chuckle. "I'm not mad Merlin; I do not love you either."

His brow creases "Then why did you want ..?" Merlin gestures to himself.

Uther chuckles again. "The same reason as you I suspect. Attraction Merlin, you are a very beautiful young man." Merlin blushes at the comment and nods in confirmation, he cannot deny that the King is attractive, in a rugged way.

Merlin speaks up. "I need to tell Arthur, I cannot keep this from him."

Uther nods. "Yes, I agree. We tell him together."

Merlin agrees because he is sure that if he was to tell Arthur alone his voice would fail him.

"Sir Bedivere." Uther calls to the guard who then appears at the door.

"Yes Sire."

"Send for the Prince."

"Yes Sire." The man answers before disappearing and closing the door behind him.

Merlin and Uther stay in silence as they wait for Arthur's arrival.

Arthur is walking towards his father's chambers, completely baffled as to why he has been summoned this early and to his father's personal chambers. When he arrives Sir Bedivere opens the door for him.

When he enters he sees his father stood by the window and Merlin stood in the middle of the room. "What's going on?" he quickly demands and he hears the door close behind him.

Merlin and Uther look at each other, then Merlin diverts his eyes to the floor and Uther clears his throat.

"Arthur, I understand that you and your servant are in a romantic and physical relationship."

Arthur starts at the words; they were very far down on the list of things he thought his father was going to say. "Yes, as of a couple of weeks ago." He puffs out his chest ready for a verbal fight if the need arises where he has to defend himself and his lover.

"Arthur I ... we ... need to tell you something." Uther begins, Arthur looks between his father and servant. "Last night Merlin and I kissed."

Arthur's mouth hangs open in shock; he looks between the man he loves and his father. "No, you didn't. You wouldn't ... that's ... that's ..!" words stutter out of Arthur's mouth as he rushes for something to say, to deny what has been said. He shakes his head disbelievingly. "No." He repeats. "This is a bad joke. Merlin. Tell him Merlin. Tell him to take it back, that it's not true!" Arthur gestures wildly at his father while staring at his lover who has tears in his eyes. "Merlin! Say it's not true!"

Merlin shakes his head "I'm sorry Arthur." He whimpers.

"NO! You didn't! You did NOT KISS my FATHER!" The Prince yells, Merlin lets out a small cry and a tear escapes. "No! Take it back! Take it back!" Arthur screams at the other two people.

"Arthur, please, calm down." Uther steps forward trying to palliate his son.

"Calm down. Calm down! You made advances on my boyfriend! How can I be calm?!" Arthur replies furiously. He begins stepping backwards towards the door wanting to escape. "You are my FATHER! You are not supposed to seduce the person I love!" Arthur's voice catches on the last word.

"Arthur ..." Merlin whispers the blonde's name and reaches out his hand trying to touch him.

Arthur recoils. "Don't touch me!" tears are clouding his vision. "How could you do that? How could you touch **him** like _that_?" Arthur snarls at Merlin.

"I don't want to see you. Either of you!" He shrieks; he turns on his heel, wrenches the door open and charges down the corridor away from the King's chambers. The door drifts closed in his wake.

Merlin stares at the spot Arthur had occupied just moments ago, the dark haired youth feels like his world is crumbling around him. He falls to his knees, tears freely following from his bright blue eyes. He openly sobs, clutching at his chest allowing himself to be consumed by his guilt.

Uther watches the boy break down and blames himself for giving into his desires. He strides over to the youth and rests his hand on the boy's raven hair hoping to offer even the smallest piece of comfort.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_That night_

Arthur crashed to his knees, exhausted, in the middle of his chambers; tears freely falling from his sky blue eyes, he is unable to keep them from overflowing. He leans forward and braces his arms on the floor as he lets out a heart wrenching cry, it echoes around the empty room.

The blonde man sits back on his haunches and surveys the mess his whirlwind of emotions has caused. One of the chairs is broken from being thrown at the wall, the table is overturned, and the curtains around his bed lay in tatters on the cold floor. The tray of food that had been delivered a few hours earlier was scattered across the floor, an apple had rolled under the bed; his goblet has smashed the window as he had hurled it across the space and tray lay by the door which he had thrown there after someone had knocked; worried by the ruckus inside.

He takes a few calming breaths, the anger has subsided for now; replaced by bone deep tiredness. He drags himself from the floor and to his bed; where he falls onto the sheets not bothering to undress or crawl under the covers. He lay on his stomach facing the wall, back to the door and the world outside it.

His mind is trying to switch off but the events of the day keep playing over and over in his mind, it sticks on the image of Merlin; tears in his eyes and guilt on his face. It is replaced by the picture of Merlin and himself a few days before, laughing together. A slideshow of moment with Merlin flip in his mind.

Arthur cries himself to sleep.

* * *

_Same time; Merlin's room_

The young servant had barely moved since the morning. After his sobs had died down he had fled the King's chambers and locked himself in his own; not coming out to eat despite Gaius' coaxing and questions.

He was in a state of numbness, his tears had long dried up; the salty tracks down his face and his red eyes were still present. He could feel the guilt, shame, despair and disgust of himself churning in his gut. He has never been so ashamed or disgusted of himself; he loves Arthur, he really does, he has since the first day they met although it took him months to admit it to himself and even longer to admit to Arthur. Now, he had ruined it just for a few kisses from another and not just anyone, Arthur's father.

Merlin felt sick with guilt at what he had done to Arthur.

Sleep eludes him.

* * *

_A few days later_

The tension inside the caste walls was so thick it you could cut it with a blunt sword. All the servants walked on eggshells around the Prince who had been extremely volatile and prone to mood swings and outbursts. No one knew what had happened but the suspected it had something to do with Merlin, who had not served Arthur since the Prince had wrecked him room days before.

The overall tension was nothing compared to the atmosphere when the King and Prince were in the same room, they air felt heavy and choking. The King acted civil and even kind towards the young Prince, who reacted with anger, distain or cold indifference.

Everyone hoped that it would pass soon.

* * *

Ever since that day Merlin has kept his distance from every place in the castle he knew Arthur was likely to be, he arranged for another servant to tend to the Prince, he avoided the training field, Arthur's rooms and even the library. The warlock was either in the physician's chambers or in the forest.

He was going to respected Arthur's wishes; he would not allow himself to be in Arthur's presence or sight until the blonde decided otherwise.

* * *

Gaius was worried, the King, Prince and Merlin were all acting strangely and none of them would tell him why. The King was constantly wearing a concerned face and was extremely distracted. Arthur switched between indifferent and uncontrollable emotion, which often manifested in anger. And Merlin, well it was like Merlin had been replaced. He was quite, barely talked or ate, only left to collect herbs and looked horribly sad.

The old man sighed; there was nothing he could do if no one would confide in him. So he continued to monitor all three, making sure their health did not falter.

* * *

Uther kept his distance from his son when possible, the boy was emotional enough as it is without seeing his father and being reminded what happened. So the King only saw his son when necessary, such as council; Arthur always had his meals in his rooms, he was told by his manservant that the Prince was not eating properly, most of his trays returning to the kitchen half full.

Uther felt guilty for hurting his son in this way, he regretted causing his son and Merlin so much distress. He knew that he needed to take steps to resolve this mess otherwise the kingdom would suffer from this unsteady environment. He also wanted to help stop the pain that Arthur and Merlin were suffering. He did not know if their relationship could be salvaged but he needed to help them.

If they could not salvage their relationship, romantic or otherwise, Uther was not sure he could live with himself knowing he had ruined his son's happiness. He only hopes it won't come to that.

* * *

_The next day; afternoon_

Merlin was almost quivering with nervousness as he is led to Uther's chambers by Sir Bedivere; he is unsure why the King wants to speak to him. The Knight had not given him any hint, he had only instructed Merlin to follow him to see the King.

He looks up when he hears a knock, he then realises that they have reached their destination and he had almost walked into the Knight. He swiftly apologises to him before the Knight ushers him into the King's rooms.

Merlin stands in the same place he had many days before, twisting his hands together in an obvious show of anxiety.

"Merlin. I thought it was about time we had another conversation about this situation." The King states looking at the youth, who is keeping his eyes fixed on the floor and it is painfully obvious that he is not comfortable being in this room. "How about we go for a walk while we talk?" Uther questions.

Merlin let out a small breath in relief and nods. "Yes, please, Sire." The King smiles back at him.

The two walk in peaceful silence through the castle and exit into the courtyard. "Let's go walk in the woods, were we can talk freely." The King suggests.

Merlin agrees, he feels at home amongst the tress and they definitely did not want anyone over hearing their conversation. They pair walk across the courtyard towards the wooded area that surrounded the city.

As they walk across the stone cobbles they are unaware of the blue eyes watching them from above. Arthur glares at the pair as they walk together to a destination he does not know, anger stirs within him again but there are traces of jealousy too, after all Merlin is with another man whom Arthur knew he had touched and kissed.

The Prince pulls a chair to the window and sat watching for their return, deciding it is time to confront them.

* * *

Merlin breathes in the fresh, clean air once they reach the trees, relishing in the smell of grass and flowers; ears picking up the faint call of birds. The King smiles knowing that the younger man in now relaxed, it would be easier for them to talk this way.

"Merlin, I want to apologise for what happened. I suspected you and Arthur had a deeper relationship, and I seduced you anyway."

"Don't apologise, I was there too. I take half the responsibility. I kissed you too. I hold just as much blame as you." The young man answers.

Uther nods, but is slightly surprised by the lads mature words. "I regret the hurt it has caused you and Arthur."

Merlin flinches slightly at the blonde's name. "I betrayed Arthur, if we were not in a relationship it may have been different, but I betrayed and hurt the one person I love most." Merlin could feel his eyes burn, the early signs of tears, which he fought back and took a deep breath. "It can never happen again. I won't hurt him again."

"I completely agree. I swear to you that I will never act inappropriately towards you again." Uther states honestly.

Merlin smiles slightly. "Thank you, and nor I towards you." The boy then sighs sombrely. "I can now only wait for Arthur to decide what he wants to do."

Uther turns sullen. "What will you do if he does not want a relationship anymore?" He is curious of the boy's answer.

Merlin smiles, his eyes are filled with pain. "I will honour his wishes. I would leave the city if he wished it."

"Even thought you love him?"

"It is because I love him that I would go."

Uther pauses at Merlin's statement and only then realises just how much the young man adores his son.

"We should return to the citadel Sire, the sun will be setting soon."

The two men return to the city in silence.

* * *

Merlin feels weary as he and the King step foot into the courtyard, he just wants to return to his rooms and sleep. He is looking at the floor and he sees the King's feet halt in their tracks. He confusedly looks up at the older man who is looking towards the castle, he follows his eye line. Merlin's eyes widen when he sees Arthur stood at the top of the stairs leading into the castle staring at the two of them. He feels tendrils of panic twist in his stomach.

"We need to face him sooner or later Merlin." The King's voice pulls Merlin's gaze away from the blonde.

Merlin nervously chuckles. "I would have preferred later."

"No time like the present, he obviously wants to talk to one of us." Uther continues walking.

Merlin takes a calming breath and follows behind. Before he is ready they are climbing the stairs, coming ever close to a stoic looking Arthur, Merlin swallows the lump that has formed in his throat. They come to stop in front of the Prince, who looks at them both in turn.

"I want to speak to you. Both of you, in the Great Hall." The blonde turns on his heel and begins to led the way. The King and manservant follow behind, they understand his choice of locations; neutral ground.

All too soon the trio are stood in the large hall, waiting for Arthur to break the silence. They don't have to wait long.

"Why?" He asks, his voice tinged by uncertainty.

Uther jumps to answer first. "It's my fault Arthur, I kissed Merlin and-"

"Sire, don't." Merlin interrupts, and then looks at the man he loves. "Arthur, I'm sorry. I felt a physical attraction to your father, sparked by his looking at me which you had noticed. It may have been Uther who made the first move but I was an active participant."

Arthur swallows before replying. "Why would you be attracted to him anyway?"

"I was curious, what it would feel like to be with an older man. Not that I didn't enjoy what we did, I preferred that. There is no excuse for what I did. It will never happen again Arthur." Merlin says.

Arthur looks between the two of them before looking at Merlin. "So you expect me to just forgive you for kissing another man? My father."

Merlin winces. "No. I want you to decide what you want. I will honour whatever your wishes are. I want you to be happy, and if that means that I no longer have a place beside you, so be it."

The three stand in silence for a moment, Arthur feels most of the anger drain from him. He is still angry that they kissed, but he found most of it directed at his father who had made the first move. He feels a small weight lift from his shoulders knowing that Merlin isn't expecting anything from him, because he is not sure what he wants yet.

Arthur nods at the two. "Thanks for being honest." He says curtly before turning to leave.

"Arthur." Merlin's voice causes the blonde to pause and look at the man. "Can I tell you something?" He pleads.

Arthur nods. "I just want you to know that I really am sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for betraying you and..." Merlin chokes on his words. "I know that I don't have the right to say it and it's selfish, but I need you to know. I love you." A lone tear flows down Merlin's cheek.

Arthur can feel the sadness, loneliness and longing build up inside him, but he cannot decide anything without seriously thinking about it first. So he nods in acknowledgement and leaves.

Merlin watches him go, he did not expect a reply, he just need to be able to tell Arthur that he loved him one last time, in case he was never able to do so again.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After he left the Great Hall Arthur returns to his chambers, Merlin's parting words are ringing in his ears. He sighs heavily as he sits in front of the fire which had been lit by a servant while he was out as the sun had set already, the moon is rising in the sky; bathing the room in silver light.

He stares into the golden flames as he remembers the conversation he had with his Father and Merlin; both of their words swirling in his mind. The time trickles by as he contemplates what to do next. He is brought to his senses by a servant bringing his evening meal; he picks at the slices of meat and chews them absentmindedly, occasionally sipping the sweet wine.

He starts to get a headache after another half hour of staring into the fire so he stands to go to bed, he only then realises how tired he feels. He strips down to his undergarments leaving a trail of clothes on the floor as he makes his way to bed. He shuffles underneath the covers, burrowing himself into the warmth. Surrounded by the cosy blanket and with his head laid on a soft pillow he soon succumbs to sleep.

* * *

The next morning finds Arthur preoccupied with training the knights to think of anything other than sword of battle techniques; it allows him a rest from his emotions. He feels almost cleansed when he steps out of the bathtub in the early afternoon, by fighting with the knights he had allowed some of his anger to be released; making him feel lighter and refreshed.

However, now he is alone all the thoughts from the past week come flooding back in; he needs to figure out what he wants to do. His and Merlin's relationship had been so new; they had only been courting for a few weeks when it happened. Even though they had been friends for years they were only just beginning to learn about each other as lovers.

Arthur is glad that it happened now, rather than months down the line after they had become a settled couple; that would have been much worse. But is he able to forgive Merlin? That was the big question floating around in his mind; did he want to live without Merlin by his side? He would survive without him of course, but did he want to be without the man who had always treated him like an ordinary person; the man he had grown to love.

He thought about Merlin, how sweet and caring the dark haired servant was. He would always rush to the aid of the town's people and other servants. He always had a smile for everyone or a kind word. Arthur remembers Merlin could always make him laugh. He remembered Merlin's smile, the way his eyes sparkled, the softness of his hair and the smoothness of his skin; how his body was so sensitive to his touch.

The image of Merlin being caressed by the hands of another man unwillingly entered his mind, Merlin's lips kissing someone else's.

Rage clouds Arthur's vision as he lets out a scream of frustration and over turns the table as anger over took him. He suddenly feels he need to escape the castle, it feels like the walls are closing around him; suffocating him.

He flees the citadel and finds himself sat in the tavern, immediately downing a flagon of mead. A refill soon arrives in front of him. He sits there for hours, now slowly sipping at the drink.

As sunset approaches Arthur realises he is creeping towards drunkenness and should probably make his way back to his rooms. Before he can move however a young woman sits next to him, fluttering her eyelashes that surrounded dark green eyes.

"Hello your majesty, I'm Hilaria." She smiles coyly at him, twirls a strand of her red tinted hair around her finger.

He decides that she is indeed pretty and that some flirting would not be out of the question. He sits with Hilaria for while and she titters on about the town gossip which he is barely paying attention but makes sure his expression seems interested. He is not sure how long they talk for but he definitely notices the way she is inching closer to him, her arm is fully pressed up against his own. He looks her in the eye and she smiles back at him, their faces are almost touching.

Arthur takes her face between his hands and guides her lips to his. They start with tentative pressing of lips but it soon progresses to hard kisses. Arthur pushes one hand into her hair while the other rests on her thigh, her hands grasp his biceps.

The strands of her hair slip between his fingers and he subconsciously thinks 'Merlin's hair is softer'. Her lips move against his own 'Merlin's lips are slightly chapped and he tastes different'. Suddenly his mind is bombarded by thoughts of Merlin, comparing Hilaria to the dark haired man and finding her coming up short.

He extracts his hands and lips from her; she looks at him slightly confused as to why he pulls away.

"I'm sorry, you're a nice girl but I..."

"You're in love with someone." She interrupts with a genuine smile.

Arthur pauses for a moment as Merlin flits through his mind, emotions surge within him; hurt, anger and love. He still loves Merlin, he nods at Hilaria absently.

She presses a hand to his arm comfortingly before getting up and walking away; Arthur leaves the tavern.

* * *

Arthur lay on his back in his bed, staring at the wooden roof of his four post bed. His mind is filled with thoughts of kissing Hilaria, how it felt nice to kiss her but it didn't feel right. Her body was too curvy, her lips too plump and hair too long. He wanted hard lines and muscles, chapped lips that answer with as much desperation as his own and short soft hair that felt like fine silk in his fingers.

Arthur found himself becoming aroused of the thought of a man pressed against his body, he allowed himself to touch his cock; slowly stroking the organ as he fantasises about long slender fingers gliding across his chest and gripping his blonde hair. He lets out a shuddering breath as he imagines pushing his tongue into a warm receptive mouth while pulling a pale thigh to wrap around his waist. His hand moves faster as he sees his fingers sliding inside the hole of a man writhing on his bed. He moans loudly as he climaxes to the thought of pushing his cock into Merlin's body while staring into lust filled blue eyes.

He allows himself to calm down before cleaning himself up with towel he had used after his bath earlier. He lies in his bed, the last tendrils of pleasure leaving his body as he admits to himself that he loves and wants Merlin.

* * *

_The next day; early afternoon_

Arthur had thought about what he wanted to say to Merlin all morning, thinking and re-thinking about how to converse with him. But now Merlin was stood in front of him, he was lost for words.

The silence between the two lasted for many moments, Arthur not sure what to say and Merlin kept his eyes to the floor waiting for Arthur to speak; when finally the blonde did.

"I kiss a girl at the tavern last night." It wasn't quite the way Arthur wants to start the conversation but it is as good a place as any, after all that's what caused him to come to the decision to talk to the manservant.

Merlin's eyes widen slightly at the confession his is not overly surprised, he thought the Arthur may seek out someone else but it did not prevent the twinge of hurt he felt. He says nothing but nods letting Arthur know he has heard him.

"It was nice; she was quite pretty and had soft lips." Arthur says; he isn't quite sure why but maybe he subconsciously wants to inflict pain on Merlin. It works; Merlin feels swirls of hurt in his stomach but keeps them at bay as he knows he does not have the right to be upset.

Arthur watches Merlin's reaction, he sees the slight flinch and hurt in the other man's eyes, and it brings Arthur only a small piece of satisfaction.

"But it didn't feel right. She felt wrong because she wasn't you." Arthur announces. "So I want to know what happened between you and my father."

Merlin is surprised by the request and squirms anxiously. "I ..." Merlin coughs to clear his throat. "I took him his medicine for his shoulder. He touched my fingers when I passed and took back the vial, when I took it back he pushed me against the wall and kissed me." Merlin glances at Arthur, who nods stiffly to continue. "I was stunned for a moment, but kissed back. We kissed for a few minutes, and then I touched his hair. It startled me because it was coarse and all I could think was _Arthur's hair is softer. _That's when I pushed him away and left."

Arthur sits down and allows himself to process what Merlin had told him. He looks at the other man. "Do you want me to forgive you?"

"I do not deserve your forgiveness."

"But do you want me to forgive you?" Arthur presses.

Merlin screws his eyes shut for a moment as he feels tears start to form, of course he would love for Arthur to forgive him but he cannot say that. "I only want you to be happy."

Arthur growls. "So you don't care, you claim to love me but you don't even ask for forgiveness. Are you so impassive towards me and our relationship?!"

A small whimper passes Merlin's lips. "No, I do love you, but I do not deserve to be forgiven. I cannot ask for it! I cannot be so selfish!"

Arthur watches the other man as tears escape his eyes but he keeps his bright eyes fixed on the stone floor.

"Merlin. Look at me." Arthur waits for those blue eyes to connect with his, when they do he sees guilt swimming in their depths and knows that Merlin is truly sorry for what he did. "Our relationship was very young; we were only just beginning to know each other. I still love you Merlin, that hasn't changed but I do not fully trust you anymore."

Merlin nods in understanding as more tears leak out of his eyes.

"I would like for us to court for a while, to see if it will be possible for me to be able to trust you again and see if it is possible for us to start our relationship again. We would have to start from scratch Merlin; I cannot just continue our relationship."

Merlin looks up at the blonde with wonder and hope in his eyes, almost disbelieving that words coming out of his mouth.

"I love you Merlin, so I am willing to give you this second chance; but there will not be a third." Arthur warns. "If anything like this happens again I will want nothing more to do with you." Merlin nods vigourously. "But first you must ask.

Merlin sobs. "I am so sorry. Please, _please_, forgive me."

"It may not be easy for me to forgive you Merlin, but I want to try."

The dark haired man drops to his knees and cries with happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The next day, at Arthur's request, Merlin returned to work as his manservant. To say the three days that followed were awkward was an understatement; neither was quite sure how to act around the other yet. Arthur was still working through his feelings and coming to terms with what had happed; while Merlin was afraid to make one wrong move that would end in Arthur commanding him to leave. Merlin spent the day following Arthur, making sure to always keep a distance of three strides, so as not to crowd the Prince. Instead of addressing each other by their names Merlin always said 'sire' and Arthur only acknowledged Merlin when he needed him or when he was spoken to directly by the raven haired man.

The whole castle was walking on eggshells around the two young men, no one knew what had happened to cause the rift between them but they could sense the change. Uther kept his distance from the pair, only seeing Arthur during meetings and avoiding Merlin at all costs.

* * *

On day four the tension broke.

Arthur is sitting at his desk working through the papers that had built up over the past days, he had been too preoccupied to complete them; but they had to be done. He peeks under his lashes to see Merlin straightening his bed sheets. The Prince feels he is ready to become friends with the servant again but is unsure how to break the silence between them, he had no idea how to bridge the gaping distance between them. He knows he must make the first move as Merlin is letting him have control over how their relationship progresses. The blonde sighs and casts his eyes back to his scrolls.

The peace of the room is shattered by a loud thud. Arthur's head whips up to look upon the sight of Merlin sprawled across the floor, the laundry basket rolling away from the servant and the Prince's dirty clothes scattered all over the floor. Merlin looks up sheepishly.

"You bumbling idiot!" Arthur yells; the insult rushes from his mouth out of habit. Merlin looks shocked by the outburst and Arthur's mouth hangs slightly open; unsure what to do.

A chuckle escapes the blonde, who is unable to keep himself from laughing at the raven haired man who was still lying on his floor. The chuckle morphs into a fit of laughter, Merlin soon joins in. If anyone walks in now they would be extremely confused by the two laughing men, one of which was laid on the cold floor surrounded by clothes.

The laughter simmers out and the two men smile at each other, Merlin rather shyly. The servant then gathers the laundry, waves goodbye to the Prince and leaves the room. Arthur sits with a smile on his face, glad that the tension between them seems to have diminished.

* * *

By day seven they were joking with each other and were almost always friendly towards each other, although it was noticeable that they kept a physical distance between them; the casual touches were no longer present. But at least they were talking.

* * *

Uther carefully watches his son and Merlin, always keeping his distance. He is glad to see that they have begun to repair their friendship, and he hopes it will lead to them becoming lovers again. He had never intended to destroy what they had, his regret was how much hurt he caused his son.

"Are you feeling well Sire?" Gaius' voice pulls Uther from his musings.

"I'm fine Gaius." He replies as he leans against the stone balcony which overlooks the court yard.

Gaius raises an unbelieving eyebrow but accepts the answer. He casts his eye to the courtyard to see what has Uther's attention.

Merlin and Arthur are on their way to the training grounds, both smiling and Arthur laughs at a joke Merlin tells. The two older men watch them as they walk out of sight.

Gaius looks at the King, who is smiling slightly, confused.

"Sire, may I ask what transpired between Merlin, Arthur and yourself?"

Uther stiffens. "I cannot tell you Giaus that is between us. But I assure you that frayed ties are mending themselves between those two boys."

Gaius nods, reluctantly accepting the answer given. He excuses himself, returning to his work.

The King watches the physician leave, almost wishing he had told the man, but knowing he could not.

He casts his eyes back over the court yard and sighs. Although he feels glad for the mending bond between Arthur and Merlin he cannot help the longing that sits in his chest.

He longs to be able to hold, kiss and caress a lover of his own. Images of smooth skin, firm muscle and short hair flutter behind his eyelids. He will never tough Merlin again, he will never come between his son and lover again.

The King casts one last look over the city before turning away and returning to his chambers.

* * *

Arthur smiles as he watches Merlin leave the Prince's chambers with the lunch tray in his hands.

The blonde man slumps comfortably in his chair, his belly full and his mind at rest for the first time in a while. He has come to terms with the incident between his father and Merlin; he puts the memory at the back of his mind, now able and willing to forget it.

Arthur knows that he loves Merlin and he feels a weight off his shoulders now that he and the servant are talking again. His heart feels lighter, now unburdened by anger.

However, he still doesn't trust Merlin with his heart again yet. The other man has the power to break Arthur and the Prince needs time to re-establish his trust in Merlin.

His thoughts are interrupted by the man himself as Merlin pokes his head around the door to alert Arthur that the council meeting will begin shortly.

As Arthur stares at the smiling man with bright blue eyes he knows that it won't be too long until he feels comfortable enough to take the next step.

* * *

That evening, after Merlin had completed his duties he lays on his bed staring at the ceiling. He is pleasantly exhausted from a day of labour and hopeful giddiness. He still could not believe that Arthur has begun talking with him again, like they used to. His cheeks are sore from the constant smile that had been glued to his face all day.

Hope is slowly building is his heart with each day that passes, each day that Arthur smiles at him or laughs at his jokes.

The raven haired man reaches under the bed, curls onto his side and snuggles the piece of fabric clutched in his hands. He quickly slips into sleep with a smile on his face and one of Arthur's shirts pressed against his chest.


	6. Chapter 6

_A.N; Okay my lovelies, last chapter! _

Chapter 6

As the months passed Arthur and Merlin were able to repair their friendship, the whole castle released a sigh of relief when the rift between the two young men dissolved completely.

* * *

The first time Arthur touched Merlin again it was warm and sunny.

The two men were sitting on the grass of the training grounds, thought it was just the two of them. The Knights had departed hours ago, Arthur and Merlin had enjoyed a picnic and are now basking in the afternoon sun.

Arthur looks over to his dark haired companion. Merlin's eyes are closed and his lips are turned up into a slight smile. The golden light of the sun warming his face.

Arthur silently raises his hand until it is level with Merlin's face, he releases a nervous breath, but Merlin's eyes remain closed. Gently Arthur caresses Merlin's cheek with the back of two fingers. The servant's eyes snap open at the contact and Arthur freezes for a moment. He then turns his hand and cups Merlin's cheek, smiling. Merlin returns the smile and presses into Arthur's hand.

For the first time in weeks Arthur runs his fingers through soft raven hair.

* * *

The first time they kiss it's raining.

Arthur had dragged Merlin into the forest to hunt, again. They had gone on foot as it was only for sport so Arthur was only aiming for rabbits and birds, leaving the larger prey be.

They had been stalking a rabbit when the first drops of rain fell, the rabbit sensed the weather change and quickly escaped to a nearby burrow. Arthur and Merlin weren't so lucky. The rain fell fast and heavy, soaking the two men to the bone as they ran for shelter. They luckily found a large tree, under which was dry due to the large canopy of branches and leaves above.

They panted, trying to catch their breath. They looked at each other then broke out in laughter; both of them looked ridiculous with their sopping clothes hanging from their bodies and hair stuck to their faces.

As their laughter trailed off Arthur became distracted by the drops of water sliding down Merlin's neck. He followed the trail of one drop that fell from the other mans dark hair slipping down the side of his nose and settled on Merlin's rose tinted lips. Arthur's resolve broke when Merlin's pink tongue darted out to catch the drop of liquid.

The blonde quickly put himself in Merlin's personal space, their hastened breath mingles and their noses almost touch. Arthur slides one hand into Merlin's wet hair and the other curls around his body and settles in the middle of his back.

They keep their eyes open as the inch forward and their lips touch, more a brush of lips than a kiss. Merlin's eyes fall shut and he unwillingly whimpers slightly as Arthur's lips leave his. Arthur delights in the sound he hasn't heard in over two months. He crushes his lips against the other man's. Merlin's hands fly up to grip Arthur's shoulders eagerly returning the kiss.

The stand under the tree relearning each other's mouths, their bodies pressed together. The only sounds are small moans and the patter of rain drops falling around them.

* * *

They both know that they relationship isn't yet fully repaired but they touch and kiss freely, most of which initiated by Arthur because Merlin is still cautious, knowing that it is better for them both if Arthur has control of the progression of their relationship.

Arthur's trust in Merlin is slowly repairing with each day that goes by, and he is happier than he has been in months; they both are.

* * *

Uther happily watches Arthur and Merlin over the months relearn each other and fix their relationship. Arthur has also start to become more comfortable around him, less hostile and more relaxed. Uther is glad that Arthur is beginning to seem ready to forgive him.

Uther turns onto his side and smiles at the man in his bed. Just over a month ago a new servant was employed at the castle, he is a few years older that Arthur, formally trained, lean but muscular, had deep jade colour eyes and thick chestnut hair. His name is Hale, and he had gladly responded to the King's advances. The two men are happy in their agreement of companionship.

* * *

The first time Arthur and Merlin sleep in the same bed it's snowing.

It's the middle of winter, almost four months after the incident, when Arthur invites Merlin to sleep (and just sleep) in his bed.

The castle is bitterly cold in winter, especially at night. Arthur is glad his has the fire burning and a few extra blankets on his bed. But he had noticed that Merlin has been sneezing and shivering for the past two days. He feels like an idiot when he remembers that Merlin's room must be freezing, with only an old rough blanket for warmth.

That evening Merlin is stoking the fire for a final time before he leave for the night when Arthur approaches him.

"Merlin. I want you to sleep here tonight." Arthur decides it's best to be blunt.

Merlin on the other hand nearly chokes on his tongue. "What?" He splutters.

"It's extremely cold, and I don't want you to get sick. You're sleeping here."

Settling for sleep was initially awkward, Merlin was still unsure and twisting his hands nervously. Eventually Arthur sighed, pulled Merlin under the covers and curled up behind him. It only took a few moments for Merlin to relax into the embrace.

That night they both fell asleep, toasty warm with smiles on their faces.

* * *

Seven months after the incident Arthur and Merlin had sex. It is Arthur's birthday and the first time Arthur says 'I love you'.

The day had been a joyous occasion for everyone, and the evening had been alive with music, laughter and drinking. Arthur was surrounded by his friends as they celebrated his birthday, the Prince was having fun but something was missing, or rather someone.

Merlin stood to the side, not wanting to interrupt Arthur's fun, sipping mead and chatting with Gwen. Arthur looked longingly towards the servant.

Not long passed before Arthur took Merlin by the hand and left the party.

They undressed each other slowly, their mouths never moving more than a breath away from the other. Their hands relearn each other, finding their erogenous zones and enjoying the complete skin-on-skin contact. Their breathy moans and pants fill the air.

Arthur presses Merlin gentle onto the bed, and then admires the dark haired man spread wantonly beneath him. He caresses Merlin's chest, rubbing his nipples; Merlin releases a soft hitched moan. Arthur lies on top of his lover, rubbing their erections together as they languidly kiss.

Merlin revels in the attention Arthur is lavishing on his body and returns it with vigour. He kisses and licks the blonde's neck, and pulls at Arthur's earlobe with his teeth which pull a quite groan from him. He strokes Arthur's body, worshipping the other man as the blonde sucks marks onto his skin. Merlin wraps his hand around Arthur's turgid erection, jerking it a few times; listening to Arthur's strained moans.

"Please Arthur. Make love to me." Merlin begs; he has been longing to have Arthur inside him again. Arthur groans and nods into his neck.

Arthur coats his fingers in lubricating oil and slides his fingers down Merlin perineum then across his twitching hole. Merlin bites his lip at the tingle of pleasure. Arthur starts with one finger, but is quickly using three fingers to starch his lover. He brushes the small bump inside Merlin that causes the raven haired man to moan loudly.

"I'm ready, please Arthur. Come on." Merlin pants.

Arthur slicks his cock then presses gently into Merlin, he closes his eyes as he is overcome by pleasure. The two men rock together, but neither last long; both have been abstaining for too long. Their climax together, their shouts of pleasure drown out all other sound. Arthur brushes Merlin's hair back out of his eyes and they smile warmly at each other.

The music of the party disguised the echoes of pleasure that emitted the room for hours as they continued to relearn each other.

Arthur lay curled around Merlin, both men sweaty, sated and happy. Arthur pressed lingering kisses to Merlin's neck and the dark haired man sighed contently.

"I love you." The whispered words shocked Merlin. He turned his head so he could look Arthur in the eye. He saw only love in those blue eyes and a smile. Merlin returned Arthur's smile.

"I love you too Arthur." Merlin answered.

Arthur kissed Merlin softly, and then nuzzled his nose into Merlin's neck. The pair fell asleep with their limbs tangled together and their fingers intertwined.

* * *

_A.N; That's the end my darlings. I hope you liked it! Please review._

_If you have read both versions of this story please tell me which you prefer (and why, if you want). _

_Thank you for reading! :) xxx_


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